


Millennial Crises

by Su1010



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, College AU, Drug Use, M/M, Miya Four, Party, This is pure crack, hell week, me projecting my college experiences onto miya four
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28691019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Su1010/pseuds/Su1010
Summary: In which Atsumu is trying his best to give up and start an Onlyfans account, Suna is heavily in love with their professor, Sakusa sleeps in the library and just wants to pass this semester and Osamu is struggling playing therapist for everyone.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 12
Kudos: 98





	Millennial Crises

**Author's Note:**

> Here's me starting another WIP while I look back at my other 343934 WIP(s) and stare blankly. This is a college AU btw, characters are obviously aged up and it's Hell Week. Enjoy the chaotic gay disasters which are Miya Four.

Osamu screeched when someone reached over to pull his hoodie from where it was draped over his chair and several pairs of eyes snapped away from laptop screens to stare at him as his cheeks flushed crimson. After apologizing, he turned back in his seat to glare at Suna who was innocently wrapping said hoodie around his shoulders.

“Couldn’t ya have asked me like a normal human being?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Suna mused, tapping his pencil against the laptop keypad. “Your muscles keep you warm anyway. I’m just a shrimp.”

“With bad posture,” Sakusa muttered under his breath as Atsumu caught on and snorted. 

Suna turned to his deskmate and opened his mouth to argue when their professor came into the lecture hall. The first thing everyone said in greeting was “good morning sir.” The second thing only audible to Osamu, Atsumu and Sakusa’s ears was Suna’s exclamation of “FUCK HE’S HOT!”

Atsumu coughed and spluttered, water running down his face as Osamu laughed at his twin brother and Sakusa looked like he wanted to pass away, eyes unwavering as he fixated his gaze on the blackboard. 

“I’m professor Shugo Meian,” their lecturer introduced himself as Suna chewed on a piece of gum he had stolen from Osamu’s hoodie pocket. “I’ll be replacing Professor Inunaki as your lecturer for introduction to anatomy.”

“He can use my anatomy for demonstration purposes anytime,” Suna remarked and Osamu groaned in protest.

“Omi-kun,” Atsumu reached behind his seat to tug on Sakusa’s sweatshirt sleeve which was currently falling apart at the seams, much like its wearer whose patience was wearing equally thin. “Wanna go out for lunch later?”

“I see you every day, Miya. I would rather not see your face more than 3 times a day but when I wake up, I see you. When I go to sleep, I see you. God, it’s pissing me off.”

“Oh look,” Osamu turned to his brother with a smirk. “Someone else finally knows how much I _suffered_ growing up with ya.”

“Shut up, Samu’. Did ya think it was so easy to grow up having the same face as ya? We literally saw ourselves when we woke up and fell asleep.”

“SHUT UP, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO PUT IT THAT WAY. God, Mum’s ovum shouldn’t have split.”

“What?”

“I should have eaten ya in the womb.”

“And you _should have_ ,” a foreign voice filtered into the conversation as both brothers froze midway into their conversation and their professor addressed them as a pair.

“Miya twins, do you have something you would like to share with the class?”

Suna giggled from behind Osamu and Sakusa scoffed as Osamu slunk further down into his chair and Atsumu had to answer on behalf. “No sir.”

Meian nodded in approval as Atsumu glared at his brother with such hatred that Osamu had to avert his gaze and stare at the floor for a few moments and contemplate life. It wasn’t until Meian spoke that he raised his head again and immediately regretted his decision.

“Now, this assignment will account for half of your grade but don’t worry, I’ve taken the liberty of pairing you up to ease the burden.”

“Some liberty,” Sakusa mumbled. 

“Grey Miya Twin, you’re with Sakusa.”

“ _Great_ liberty, at least I got the better twin,” Sakusa hurriedly retracted his earlier statement as Atsumu blinked at him in indignation.

“Blonde Miya Twin, you’re with Rintarou.”

“Happy times,” Suna cheered, clapping a hand onto Atsumu’s shoulder as the blonde yelped.

He moved onto the other students as Atsumu slammed his head down onto the table hard enough to earn a concerned tone from Sakusa. 

“Miya, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“He single-handedly ruined my love life, I hate him.” Atsumu groaned, turning onto his side to stare at his brother whose hand was poised atop his water bottle, hovering.

“Does he not know our names,” Osamu said, voice devoid of emotion. “Did he just call us by our _hair colours_?”

Atsumu shrugged, clearly used to it at this point since their friends in high school used to do the same thing. 

“He has pretty privilege,” Suna supplied and popped another stick of gum into his mouth, chewing infuriatingly while Osamu tried his best not to commit murder with his bare hands. He reached his hand out to poke his brother in the ribs and gestured to his airpods.

“I’ll do one page of yer assignment if you give me yer airpods right now. If I have to hear Rin drool over our professor again, I’ll pull a Van Gogh and slice off my own ear for the good of humanity if not for the sake of my own sanity.”

“Throw in the cover and yer good,” Atsumu negotiated, already pulling out the case from his backpack.

“Yer such a lazy fuck, ya know that?”

“I also know yer jealous so there’s that,” Atsumu countered sharply and Osamu immediately snatched the airpods case from his hand in silence. 

“Deal.”

**Rintarou Suna @sunavabitch**

_[image description : Suna holding up a peace sign with Osamu’s hoodie wrapped around him with the caption - sweater weather with a hot professor]_

11:45 a.m. 8 minutes ago

6 comments 14 retweets 152 likes

**Miya Osamu @sm_my**

God I hate you

11:50 a.m. 4 minutes ago

* * *

“Omi-kun,” Atsumu peered up from the paper he was currently scribbling something on and turned to look at Sakusa who was currently typing away fervently on his phone. “Do you have a crush on anyone?”

A strangled sound somewhere between a cough and a gasp escaped Sakusa’s throat as he stared at his roommate in horror, taken aback by his question. “Why?”

Atsumu twirled the pencil between his fingers and caught it deftly before it could fall to the floor. “Just curious.”

“Be curious about something else,” Sakusa retorted before a knock resonated at their door and Sakusa kicked Atsumu’s chair as a gesture for him to get it. Atsumu reluctantly headed over and flung the door open to reveal his brother and Suna standing there - a tray of brownies in Osamu’s hands and a cigarette in Suna’s.

“What the fuck?”

“Rin baked,” Osamu explained, rushing inside and setting the brownies down on the table where Sakusa’s pile of research papers were. Sakusa scowled and slapped Osamu’s hand away as he cleared away the papers and put them away in a place where they would be safe from whatever could possibly happen after this.

“Ya never bake,” Atsumu raised an eyebrow in question. “The last time ya did was that gathering in high school after we graduated and Kita-san told me yer chocolate chips cookies made him never want to eat chocolate in his life again.”

Suna who was leaning against the windowsill turned to Atsumu with a bewildered expression on his face. “Kita-san told me he loved those cookies!”

“Kita-san also told me he loved me but wouldn’t go out with me, so maybe we all fucked up the definition of love, huh?” Atsumu replied and Osamu groaned. 

“It was one time, Tsumu’. Ya asked him out, he said no, move on!”

“I’ll move on when Omi-kun agrees to date me!”

Sakusa who was reaching for one of the brownies froze midway, his hand hovering over the tray. “WHAT?”

“Ya heard me, Omi-kun,” Atsumu approached his roommate, holding Sakusa’s gaze as he got nearer and nearer until he was too close for comfort and Sakusa could smell the distinct scent of cologne on him. “Until ya agree to go out with me, I’m not moving on from Kita-san.”

“So you’re using him as a rebound?” Suna commented, inhaling another round of smoke before exhaling it outside the window but coughing when the wind brought it back inside.

“No!” Atsumu argued, shaking his head. “I would never make Omi-kun a rebound.”

“So,” Sakusa sat up on the bed, using his elbows to prop him up. “You want to date me because you can’t get over your first love and you also can’t comprehend denial so you need to develop a relationship with me as a distraction to get your crush out of your system? Correct me if I’m wrong Miya, but that sounds like the _exact_ definition of rebound.”

“Rebound,” Suna repeated, reading aloud from his phone. “Some person you use to get over the person you just broke up with. They’ll never be enough but they can be an okay distraction.”

“But I never dated Kita-san,” Atsumu argued and Sakusa pushed him aside as he got up. 

“Shut up and eat a brownie,” Osamu chided his brother and shoved a whole chunk into his open mouth as Atsumu chewed and swallowed.

Sakusa was already reaching for seconds and Osamu was chewing on his piece when Atsumu turned to Suna. “Rin, what the fuck did ya use in this?”

“Uh, I’m not sure what the name is, it’s all the same to me.”

“Rin,” Atsumu’s voice was several octaves higher than it needed to be and steadily rising in pitch with each word. “Are these fucking pot brownies?”

Osamu and Sakusa both stopped chewing at the same time but Osamu was forced to swallow the remainder of it which was lodged in his throat to avoid choking as he looked at his roommate in horror.

“Rin, when ya said ya were going out just now, was it to fucking buy weed?"

Suna shrugged and reached over to put a brownie in his mouth. “They taste good, don’t they? I put in extra chocolate to mask the smell and taste of weed.”

“I’m doing drugs,” Sakusa stated monotonously, reaching for another piece. “What a great way to kick off Hell Week. Doing drugs with my roommate who wants to fuck me, his brother who wants to fuck his own roommate and said roommate who looks like he’s always high but now is actually fucking soaring high.”

“You want to fuck me?” Suna asked as Osamu turned several shades of crimson in the span of two minutes and threw a cushion at Sakusa whose face caught the cushion headfirst and banged his head into the wall from the impact.

“JESUS,” Atsumu gasped as he reached over to help Sakusa get up. “Ya okay, Omi-kun?”

“Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?”

“SAMU’, YOU BROKE MY ROOMMATE. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.”

**Rintarou Suna @sunavabitch**

_[ig story description : Suna grinning madly at the camera and angling it to show Sakusa trying to push Atsumu out their window and Osamu staring at the ceiling blankly with the caption - look at all these chickens.]_

10:47 p.m. 13 minutes ago.

* * *

“Professor Meian is hot,” Suna commented as Osamu groaned from his position on the floor and tilted his head to try and look at his roommate. “I mean, man’s 30 and looks 20. _I_ look older than him.”

“You look older than all of us,” Sakusa replied bluntly and Atsumu burst into peals of laughter. 

“Tell me yer not scrolling through his Instagram right now,” Osamu struggled to sit up, his head beginning to throb as he pressed a finger to his temple to try and stem the oncoming migraine.

Suna shook his head and made an expression akin to the one he had made in the video uploaded mere minutes ago. “Facebook.”

“Good God,” Osamu muttered as he grabbed onto the edge of the table to try and haul himself up but failed miserably and eventually ended up back on the floor where he had lay for the better half of an hour.

“We were supposed to work on our assignments for fuck’s sake.”

“Can’t do something when you don’t know it exists,” Atsumu interrupted from where he was currently on the bed, leg halfway sprawled over Sakusa who was drifting in and out, occasionally staring at Osamu and raising his middle finger as a threat. 

“I wish ya didn’t exist,” Osamu muttered as Suna set down his cigarette and lay down on Osamu’s chest, both of them staring at the ceiling where there was a water stain at the top right-hand corner. 

Silence shrouded the room for a brief moment before Atsumu sat up and frowned. “Something’s burning.”

“Me, I’m burning hot,” Suna lazily replied, left leg crossed over the right as he settled in further into Osamu’s chest despite the grey-haired twin’s cries of protest.

“No, I’m serious. Something’s on fucking fire.”

Osamu pushed Suna off his body and sat up, immediately noticing where the burning smell was coming from. “SAKUSA YER RESEARCH PAPERS ARE ON FUCKING FIRE.”

“Shit!” Suna exclaimed, quickly grabbing his cigarette and putting out the flame.

Sakusa merely looked to the side, noticed the small fire, flashed Osamu the middle finger for the fifteenth time in a row and closed his eyes.

“Give me some water!” Osamu shouted, scrambling to find a water bottle but only finding a small bottle of liquid under his brother’s bed and throwing the contents onto the fire. 

“Samu’ you idiot! That’s lube dumbfuck, did that look like water to ya?!”

The two brothers started arguing as Osamu yelled at Atsumu for not storing his sexual products properly and Atsumu yelled back that his brother should have checked the label on the bottle before haphazardly emptying it onto the fire. Meanwhile, the fire kept raging as Suna whipped out his phone once more without regard to the imminent threat.

**Rintarou Suna @sunavabitch**

_[twitter video description : Osamu and Atsumu arguing in the background and pulling each other’s hair while Sakusa sleeps soundly and a fire burns through their coffee table while the flames are reflected in Suna’s eyes and he turns to smirk at the camera.]_

12:39 a.m. 6 minutes ago. 

38 comments, 98 retweets, 243 likes.

**Motoya Komori @komemento.mori**

Is that Sakusa...is he dead???

**Kita Shinsuke @genshinsuke**

IS THAT A FIRE IN ONE OF THE DORMS? I’M OMW

**Rintarou Suna @sunuvabitch**

@genshinsuke Nah, it’s fine, I used 1 of the Miya twins to put it out. Let’s just say Atsumu’s roots are showing again

**Miya Atsumu @atsumurder**

MF I WILL END YOUR EXISTENCE

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Updates are every Monday btw hehe. Thank you for reading <3
> 
> Come scream at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/cherrybomb_su)


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